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Your signal is always the strongest;
your picture always comes through clear;
your frequency is always what I am in-tune with;
your content is always new-
but I would watch you, and I do watch you every day,
on repeat.
Your look is fantastic as it is
and never needs to be refreshed;
your ideas and dreams are the characters of a drama
with whom I imagine myself interacting with,
and in a world I would love to live in;
your taste is sublime,
and like a great meal,
every course of you is a feast.
You show me so much every day,
I simply have to look at you and I am already off
on an adventure in my mind;
you tell me and teach me something every day-
a mere glance in your direction is like staring
at an intense explosion of light,
who and which to someone else would be powerful enough
to send them blind.
I am addicted to you, and I have been for a while.
I would choose to be the moderator of your fan club,
and I would proudly wear a t-shirt with my love for you on it
and never hide away or live in denial.
I take notice and I record everything you broadcast;
I think about you even when you are right in front of me,
and the time when I can’t, nor anyone,
can take my attention away from you goes by
and makes my heart beat so fast.
When you fill my screen and talk directly to me,
and no one else, in true and vibrant colour
and in infinite and ultra-definition;
when you blur away the rest of the world
and suck me in, every episode of you
always brings me to the conclusion
that you are the most important gift in my life,
of that there could never be any confusion.
Your voice carries farther than radio;
your message is more hypnotic than television;
your name and your face is what I see repeated everywhere I go;
your energy is like that of the explosion
that is ignited to launch and propel a spacecraft
on a long and deep-space mission.
You are someone I could never just turn on
and not watch every second of,
and just leave to be, like moving wallpaper-
because you are like a window to so much
and so many wonders;
of all the magical sights in this world that I have seen,
you are and you will always be my favourite view.
You are my favourite station of destination
that I never want to leave,
and you can rest assured that any and every time
I want to scan and be in-tune with anyone,
I will always choose to be watching and in-awe
of Channel U.
Every time I see you
you take my breath away,
every day I talk to you
you fascinate me with something I have never heard,
every time I learn something new about you
I can’t stop myself from smiling for days,
every day I need to have you at the other end of the phone line,
because when it comes to hearing from you I hang on every word.
You have the most amazing style,
you have the most incredible taste,
you have the most stunning and gorgeous eyes
to go with the most beautiful smile,
you are everything any man could ever dream about finding in a woman,
and every day I stare at your picture to remind me
how phenomenal you are, how wonderful in every way you are,
and not a figment of my imagination, or a dream,
and I marvel at everything about you that comes to mind-
from your amazing stories about the places you have been,
to the incredible people who you have known throughout your life
who every day still talk to you and influence you,
and keep that unbelievable smile fixed upon your face.
When you walk into a room people turn their heads
and instantly gravitate towards you,
when you take an interest in someone, or something,
people follow your line of sight and they know instantly
that whatever it is it is definitely worth their while,
when you say something people know without any doubt
that what you are saying could not be more true,
when you put your heart, imagination, and soul into something,
everyone knows it means something special and important to you,
and every step that came into making it was worth every mile.
I love how you make me feel.
I love how for everything you receive
you give back a hundred times.
I love how you make my thoughts flash
with the energy and colour of a firework
exploding against a black sky,
and spin and spark my dreams with the ferocity
of a Catherine wheel.
I love and I live for how much there is about you
that will forever be unique to you alone-
a beauty, a divinity, the serenity of a goddess,
a wildness of an inner tigress that can’t ever be confined.
Your eyes shine brighter and more brilliantly
than all the stars and planets in the universe,
you are truly the most beautiful and stunning woman
in the entire world,
you make me better and at peace as if I were your patient
and you were my nurse.
You are like no one else,
there will never be anyone else like you,
and I love you my cosmopolitan girl.
I’m sitting in my favourite coffee shop,
enjoying a large, dark, incredible, exquisite,
cup of coffee that tastes as if the coffee beans
had been grown in the garden of Elysium,
and brewed, made, and poured on Mount Olympus by Zeus himself.
The taste in my mouth, the sensation, the experience,
the feeling of swallowing the hot coffee is like nothing else!
I am in another place, I am at another time;
I see new people that I have never seen before around me;
I recognise others that I regularly see
frequent this same coffee shop,
and at the same time of day with me-
they recognise me too,
they are in their own world…
but there is something in the air:
in the taste, in the smell,
in the temperature of where we are, that accentuates, combines,
and makes everything about these brief, enjoyable,
shared moments feel sublime!
The drug that intoxicates me,
heightened by the taste of the coffee,
opens my subconscious and makes me broadcast
my happiness and my contentment to everyone who sees me.
The world outside is calling me back,
but I don’t want to go…
The only thing that could make me happier is sharing this,
sharing everything, with someone-
someone who is like me;
someone who appreciates every second, every moment, like I do;
someone who doesn’t need to say anything,
because they feel what it is I am feeling anyway, always;
someone who just knows.
I feel like I have returned from death, returned to life,
I feel like I have been resurrected.
For over a week, I lay helpless in my bed,
as my thoughts and dreams went into overdrive
and manifested into different and varied guises,
colours, textures, and ideas- some that I do not remember entirely,
some that I choose not to recognize.
At some point in our lives,
we all have this urge that appears before our eyes
that tells us to look within and begin a journey to find ourselves;
there are so many schools of thought on the subject
of how to embark on the ultimate journey of identity:
a walk in the woods, a prolonged period of silence
and deep-thought around a fire,
reading a thought-provoking book-
all methods that I would recommend, which have served me in the past.
Being ill, however;
having your body and mind feel like they are turning against you,
feeling like you are locked in a prison cell
with your worst enemy: incapacity.
This new year has not began as I had hoped.
Unfortunately, the normal feeling of euphoria of Christmas
did not carry me over the cusp of New Years Day
with the normal feeling of joy and the smile of happiness on my face.
I felt like I had been struck by lightning
and had fallen from the tallest building in the world
to the hard and unforgiving ground below,
and it all happened so fast,
and I didn’t know exactly what had happened, I didn’t feel a thing.
I was broken. I just wanted to feel better,
and for all that I was feeling and experiencing to come to an end.
No one is a statue. No one is bullet-proof, untouchable,
unfliching of the debris of life,
and everyone is stricken from time-to-time by something
that feels foreign and alien of themselves,
that is not easy to purify ourselves of;
we all must accept that life itself,
and our interactions with what life has in store for us,
is nearly always going to be out of our control.
For the last seven days, I feel like I have been in space-
circling the world, instead of being a part of it;
coccooned in a bubble; fighting to find my way back
to feel well again- almost forgetting what normal
everyday things are that we take for granted:
the taste of food, the feeling of sunlight on my skin,
forgetting me.
Coming back to Earth now, finding my feel on solid ground
after so long of feeling weightless,
I am still regaining my balance,
I am still finding parts of my life to reconnect.
How I am feeling now is better than I was,
and I hope I continue to feel that way.
What I am feeling now makes me think of the memories
and recollections of the astronauts who went into space
and their perspectives of seeing the Earth from so far away,
and how seeing it changed them:
a way of seeing the world, which I see and understand now,
that has been called the “Overview Effect”.
Does this go with that?
Should I paint my bedroom Red, or should I paint it blue?
At the time of being asked
seemingly world-shattering and defining decisions,
but which are really changes in light-
because what goes with what should be simple:
go with what feels right,
because they are the rooms of you.
I have watched people literally agonize
over whether there decoration should match their fashion-
I am all for coordination, but when you get to that level of minutiae
style becomes a job, a chore, all for everybody else’s eyes-
a world away from a passion.
I am not an interior, or an exterior decorator,
but I do know what feels right to me-
my tastes in decor may be reviled by a so-called “expert”,
or by someone who thinks that their opinion is superior to mine,
and they can feel free;
however, said “experts”, I am afraid, would have to prepare themselves
to be told that they don’t know what they are talking about-
I am sure they would be well-meaning (or not),
but either way I would tell any visitor to my home
that it is the most perfect and inspirational place on Earth,
of which there can be no doubt.
The rooms of my home are an “Aladdin’s cave”,
each room mirrored in every corner with tokens of me-
details of complexity, echoes of my own voice,
imprints of imagination- works of art, life, and poetry.
Wear what is comfortable;
mix your vocabulary with what you hear and with what makes you smile;
be adventurous in your choices;
never have a psychic, nor an interior decorator on speed-dial;
listen to the opinions of your real friends, but don’t be led backwards;
be creative always; paint your hearts-desires on every wall, and on yourself-
because your thoughts and opinions are more important than any awards.
Every morning, I wake-up, I look around,
I walk through my home, and I take in the view-
I look at the people, the pictures, the art, the identity of my creativity-
I sigh with bliss, and I think to myself:
Mark, these are the rooms of you.