My Poem ‘Robin’

A light has gone out.
A star has died.
The smiles and the laughter will live on
and dampen the fires of doubt;
who you were, who you are,
and who you will always be,
will fill our heart and soul with joy forever
and bring tears to our eyes.

You have been there all my life, since I was a child;
I cannot imagine the world without you in it;
your spirit still remains with us all,
and it feels like there is no one on this planet
who is not feeling an immense sense of loss right now
at your passing, and I myself am having trouble
coming to terms with the reality
that you are no longer with us, I have to admit.

It just doesn’t feel real;
it just doesn’t seem right;
knowing you are somewhere else makes me feel ill;
knowing that we all have lost someone special
makes me sad- like how a kid feels when he lets go
and can do nothing but watch the wind take away
the gift of joy that was his favourite kite.

I cannot begin to know exactly what to say;
I am genuinely struggling to know
how to stop myself from feeling so helpless;
I have been replaying every line and every word
that I heard you say all day;
I have been thinking about you
and about what I see of myself in who you were,
and echoes of you in me, and I see two people
who just want to make the world a better place
for us being in it, and also a shared wish
to surround ourselves with the people of this world
who to us are nothing short of the best.

Life is seldom straight-forward;
why we do what we do is not always easy to figure out;
life can sometimes seem like something
that we may want to run away from,
and sometimes we all can feel like a fraud,
but what you always taught me
was that no matter what is going on in our lives,
if we truly need and want someone to save us,
there is always someone waiting to throw us a life-belt.

You are someone who I will never forget,
and neither will my family,
as well as millions of people from all around the world,
who all agree wholeheartedly that you are one of the most
amazing, phenomenal, funny, smart, exceptionally-talented,
people there has ever been.
I will miss you so much, and I will remember you, watch you,
and think about you often, and I hope that you have found
what you were looking for, I hope you found peace.
Fly free. You will live forever.
Goodbye, you wonderful shining star.
Goodbye, Robin.

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My Poem ‘I cry alone’

The snow is still falling.
The world outside my window looks and feels as if it is frozen in time.
The death of my friend is like a shard of glass impaled within my heart,
the pain of which there is never any fore-warning.
I have been trying to talk about what has happened with others,
but what is on my mind I cannot express
until I am all on my own and I begin to cry.

Overwhelming grief consumes me and has cocooned me.
I think about my friend,
and as I do I am reminded of the times that we shared,
the things that we said-
discussing our mutual likes and dislikes, and opinions.
I am trying to recall as much as I can about my friend,
before the waves of time come into shore
and wash away the impressions that my friend made
on the sands of my mind, and all that I remember of him
is carried out to sea.

Death touches us when we least expect it.
We don’t know what it feels like to lose someone until we do.
I feel like something is missing in the world now,
and the universe is unsympathetic.
I can’t begin to imagine what my friend’s family is going through.

I am writing now to try and make sense of my confusion,
to reconcile my belief in reason, necessity, my philosophy on life;
however, I am finding it hard to do so-
death to the living and to the grief-stricken
is like being stabbed with a knife.

When you hear that someone has died that you know so well,
it almost feels unreal, at first,
it feels like you are stuck in a dream-
it’s like having a fog around you,
or like being imprisoned in a glass cage,
and to free yourself you feel like you have to shout and scream.

Writing is like therapy.
Writing is helping me to say what is inside me,
and what better way to express anything than through poetry.
It is still hard for me to believe that my friend is gone.
I keep thinking about all the books that he will never read,
the films that he will never see,
the things that he will never own.
Then I think to myself how my friend came into this world with nothing,
and how he left it with so much.

Saying goodbye, accepting someone’s passing,
is something that you ultimately have to deal with by yourself,
in your own time.
I am coming to terms with my friends death as best as I can.
And that is why I must cry alone.

My Poem ‘Goodbye, my friend’

You always think things will last forever.
You always think people are always going to be there,
in the last place that you saw them,
and that life will always draw you back together.

My friend has just died, and I have just found out.
In all honesty, I am in shock.
I want to say the right thing
to describe what I am thinking right now,
but the right words just wont come out.

I have lost members of my family over the years;
I have lost friends that I have met and made
who I knew since I was a kid;
but I have never been there to say goodbye,
I have never been with someone by their side
as I lose them forever from my life, as they lose their life,
as I look-on and can do nothing but wipe-away my own tears.

As I sit alone now, I am trying to remember the last time
that I saw and spoke to my friend-
it seems like a lifetime ago in my mind-
I just can’t remember when it was,
and it is a crime of my memory that I cannot defend.

We take things for granted. I take things for granted, sometimes-
I don’t mean to, but sometimes I also take people for granted as well.
I talk to someone one day, I know that I wont see them for a few days,
but I always anticipate that I will see them again soon
the same as they always are:
laughing and joking, quintessentially themselves in every way,
and seemingly fine and well.

I lost a friend today.
A mother and a sister lost their son.
I don’t know what to say.
My friend wasn’t everybody’s friend,
but he was my friend,
and, in some ways, to him I think I was his only one.

I want so badly to find the words to describe my friend.
I want so much to put thought into what I say about him in what I write,
but saying goodbye now, not remembering the last moment that I saw my friend,
just doesn’t feel right.

The hardest thing to conceive is the end.
The most precious thing in existence, life-
the most important gift that we all take for granted-
the finite fortune that we are all born with
that we can’t take with us when we die,
that we should all not let fall through our fingers so easily,
that we should all be careful to not over-spend.

I am sorry that I never got the chance to see you one last time,
and to shake your hand.
You were genuinely someone who everyone knew how they stood with you.
And I can tell you now that you definitely left your mark on this world,
and on everyone you knew.
No one will ever forget you.

This is the way that we part-ways.

I wish I could have said this face to face, but…
goodbye, my friend.