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Opening and closing our eyes.
Inhaling and exhaling.
Watching and feeling our chest rise and fall.
Stretching and reaching for daylight.
Looking at the clock and blinking,
and accidentally losing track of the time.
Lying in bed, turning and stepping out,
and touching the floor of our bedroom with our feet.
Remembering that there is this thing called “gravity”
that keeps us all in-line and walking and standing fine.
Thinking and wondering what the new day has in store.
Doing what you do, as you paddle out to the sea
that is the outside world and leave the bed
that is your island of tranquility shore.

Feeling your mind racing.
Slowly building from a crawl to a run.
Feeling your senses interlacing.
Leaving your house at the velocity of the speed of sound,
like a bullet from a gun.
Chasing a dream.
Hoping for evidence of the unseen.
Seizing every moment of every second,
like riding the energy of a bolt of lightning.
Meaning every word that you say and never holding back
is something that we can’t all do sometimes-
even the sun in the sky is sometimes obscured by cloud,
which stops its rays from shining.

Being where you need to be.
Being with who you need and are meant to be with.
Seeing the things you need to see.
Seeing everything for what it is: a gift.
Remixing the old with the new in your own mind,
and in your daily life.
Fixing the broken as best that you can.
Masking you occasional reactions
with the expressions that people know you by.
Amassing connections that all fit together
to realise the picture of your well-meant and best-laid plans.

Showing yourself for who you are.
Laughing and joking at the unexpected.
Relaxing and shining effortlessly like a star.
Leading, as well as being led.
Standing exposed.
Running for cover.
Making the most of what was chose.
Enjoying every thing about being the road runner.

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You are my butterfly,
I have been waiting for you my entire life;
you are who I want to be with until the day I die,
I want to be with you forever and one day call you my wife;
your happiness is all that matters,
I promise to give you all that I have;
your heart’s desire are the same as mine,
because you and I are one and the same,
and every day we look back at each other
through a mirror that will never shatter,
and I promise to be there for you always
to hold your hand, look into your beautiful eyes,
and make you laugh.
You brighten my day every morning
and keep me inspired every hour;
I go to sleep every night looking at your gorgeous picture,
and I imagine us together doing everything
and being a part of each other forever;
you keep me coming back for more, like a bubble-bee to a flower;
I am so lucky to be in your life;
you are a golden miracle,
you are a sparkling sun-kissed ocean,
you are a magical and mesmerizing treasure.

I have never met anyone like you,
you are the best thing that has ever happened to me;
I have never felt for anyone like I feel for you,
you are more than words could ever describe,
and I have been unable to control or describe exactly
what I feel when I look at you,
nor could I ever thank you enough for what you do for me every day.
You are so special, you are so invigorating,
you take the beats of my heart to another level,
you are a blessing to the entire world,
and I will always love you,
and I will be there for you like no one ever has,
and fight the fights for you that need fighting.

You and I are the composers of the same song.
You and I are the rhythm of each other’s life,
and we know each other as well as we know ourselves.
You and I are meant to be,
and as we walk together side-by-side
we will never put a foot wrong.
You and I are each other’s life’s blood,
and the air in each other’s lungs,
and the constant reinvigoration of each other’s spirit-
and we are each other’s daily-assured regimen
and source of happiness, and the guaranteed and dependable
magic potion for good luck and good health.

I think about you every second.
You are my everything-
my here, my now, my dream come true, my future.
I am in-awe of you more than any other star I have ever seen,
and your light fills my world more so than the sun.
You are perfect. You always will be all that I want,
and I promise to love forever, my goddess, my princess, my angel,
my Melissa.

Your signal is always the strongest;
your picture always comes through clear;
your frequency is always what I am in-tune with;
your content is always new-
but I would watch you, and I do watch you every day,
on repeat.

Your look is fantastic as it is
and never needs to be refreshed;
your ideas and dreams are the characters of a drama
with whom I imagine myself interacting with,
and in a world I would love to live in;
your taste is sublime,
and like a great meal,
every course of you is a feast.

You show me so much every day,
I simply have to look at you and I am already off
on an adventure in my mind;
you tell me and teach me something every day-
a mere glance in your direction is like staring
at an intense explosion of light,
who and which to someone else would be powerful enough
to send them blind.

I am addicted to you, and I have been for a while.
I would choose to be the moderator of your fan club,
and I would proudly wear a t-shirt with my love for you on it
and never hide away or live in denial.

I take notice and I record everything you broadcast;
I think about you even when you are right in front of me,
and the time when I can’t, nor anyone,
can take my attention away from you goes by
and makes my heart beat so fast.

When you fill my screen and talk directly to me,
and no one else, in true and vibrant colour
and in infinite and ultra-definition;
when you blur away the rest of the world
and suck me in, every episode of you
always brings me to the conclusion
that you are the most important gift in my life,
of that there could never be any confusion.

Your voice carries farther than radio;
your message is more hypnotic than television;
your name and your face is what I see repeated everywhere I go;
your energy is like that of the explosion
that is ignited to launch and propel a spacecraft
on a long and deep-space mission.

You are someone I could never just turn on
and not watch every second of,
and just leave to be, like moving wallpaper-
because you are like a window to so much
and so many wonders;
of all the magical sights in this world that I have seen,
you are and you will always be my favourite view.
You are my favourite station of destination
that I never want to leave,
and you can rest assured that any and every time
I want to scan and be in-tune with anyone,
I will always choose to be watching and in-awe
of Channel U.

Every second we are transmitting;
every minute we are all broadcasting;
every hour we are all receiving;
every day we all sharing and revealing.

Every morning I feel something I have never felt before
and I reach out;
every morning I write something I might have said
a thousand times before,
but every time I say it again I mean it even more than before,
and to me it is like an ice cube that will never melt.

I have a tendency to repeat myself,
to watch something, and read something, over and over,
and to listen to a song continuously on its own
or part of a playlist;
I love seeing, hearing, and remembering,
things, music, people, places, memories, song-lyrics-
especially when all those wonderful things
combine into one perfect moment-
like the time you are listening to one of your favourite songs
while looking into the eyes of the one you love,
and sharing your first kiss.

I am addicted to communication, and sharing a connection.
If I think, read, see, or hear something
I feel other people would respond to, love,
like, and share too, I get so much pleasure in writing,
tagging, re-blogging, texting, and tweeting, messaging,
a link, a quote, a photo, a picture,
or writing a poem about it,
and seeing the ripple-effect of reactions.

I could talk for hours about hundreds of different things
and have a myriad of opinions about everything-
from religion to literature, from music to television;
I could talk for days about who I have met in my life,
what happened, and what I have seen, where I have been,
and what I heard, and why I was inspired,
because I chose to stop and listen.

Everyone and every thing has a story.
Every life, every love, every heart-break,
every inspirational, magic moment is a song, a musical,
a novel, a poem, a piece of art,
waiting in the wings to be released.
Every person, every leaf, every animal, every coffee bean,
every planet, every cloud, every fish, every grain of sand,
is on a journey, and that shared journey is a journey
of growth, motivation, reflection, impression, disconnection,
reconnection, intuition, in infinite ways,
and with infinite gifts of communication.

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I can’t tell you what just happened;
I can’t say with complete certainty
what everything all means;
I can’t make sense why things are the way they are,
because none of what occurred was in no way planned.
I can’t forget what was said, because it meant so much-
it still does;
I can’t be someone I am not-
no matter how hard I try, no matter what direction I try to go in,
I feel in limbo, stuck in quick sand, frozen in-between,
and no one can understand how hard it is for me to not think
about the fractured mirror of my memories
that can’t ever be reformed whole in the same way again-
because there are shards and pieces missing,
and the glass will now always be covered in cracks.

It’s raining outside today.
I am crying a monsoon of tears inside.
The weather is symbolic and an expression of how I am feeling-
cold, clouded, grey, uncertain, depressing;
I can’t help but question what people have said to me in the past
and rethink their sentiments,
and I wish I could restore so easily what I have lost
and what has been taken away, because I can’t take back and collect
all the tears that I have cried.

I just want the sun to come out and burn away the clouds
and make things how they were again;
I just want to know without any doubt that I am not going mad,
that I didn’t just imagine the world that I saw
and thought I knew;
I just don’t want to be told what I want to hear-
I want what I have always wanted:
a life to share with someone, inspiration, friends, family, love,
and a happy new year.

The future feels more uncertain now than it has ever been-
there is still hope, light, energy, holding on to me,
sustaining me, reminding me that not all that we lose is lost forever,
and right now that is what I need.

I wont walk away.
I wont forget.
I wont delete anyone from my life.
I wont retouch or alter the picture emblazoned in my head.
I wont stop hoping.
I wont stop believing.
I wont tear up anything and throw it in the bin.
I will come to understand what has happened one day, I am sure,
but until then I will remember everything,
and go back and figure out what has changed and why,
and perhaps what I could have and should have seen and done something about,
but the question is: where do I begin?

1/1/2014,
Starbucks, Coventry

I went out into the world today
with a new camera, a new outlook, a new focus-
the world felt like a light-blessed river
being sustained by a towering waterfall of rainbow rain,
sparkling mist, and beautiful lotuses.
There was something different about me,
about my surroundings, that I felt I could not ignore-
it wasn’t clear to me what had changed, at first,
but the minute that I turned everything off:
my phone, my life, my world, my hopes,
my dreams, my fears, my knowledge;
I realised that I knew nothing,
I realised that I had missed so much,
I realised that every moment of blessed silence-
when the only thing you can hear is your own heart-
is in itself an intergalactic door.

I captured and I became something new in that moment;
the windmill of life turned in the breeze- I became frozen,
I felt awestruck by a new truth that was echoing in every direction,
I was touched to tears by a new clarity
that cleared-away the cobwebs of my imagination-space
and exposed a new picture of reality to me
that felt natural, vast, free of pretense.
I looked at myself differently,
I looked at my life with new eyes through a new lens,
I became enamoured again by the faces and the memories
that I have saved my entire life of my family and my friends,
I saw the source of the divine and great muse of enlightenment
from where all thought stems.

This world, our collective meaning,
continues to amaze and inspire me.
If someone was to take a picture of everything that is happening
right now- every choice that someone made,
every thought that someone had-
what would that picture look like,
what would that picture make someone on the outside looking-in realise:
perhaps that they are in fact on the inside looking-out;
maybe such an image would change what it is about life
that means so much to you,
maybe such an image would enthral you,
maybe such an image would send you mad.

I felt like a lone lotus, bobbing up and down in a pond-
reawakened, exposed, open to the new tides of the future
and the new light of a new era;
I felt like I was beginning my life again,
with new depths to explore about the entire universe-
like the first photo of a new camera.

Today, while I was looking at a picture of you,
I realised a great many things:
I realised that I still love you, now more than ever before,
and, even though I can still hear your voice in my head,
I really do miss seeing you-
in a way, what I am feeling feels like heart-break;
but what gives me the greatest joy
is the knowledge of my own heart that you still mean a great deal to me,
and also the resurgence of energy, love, and creativity,
seeing only a photo of you brings.

The moment that I fell under your spell
was one of the most amazing and influential days of my entire life-
I used to find it hard to describe why;
however, now I have no trouble in finding the words to say
that you mean more to me than anyone, that you will always be special to me-
and that is why you are my first thought at the instant that I open my eyes
and capture the rays of the newly-risen deity of inspiration,
creation, and daylight.
It is no coincidence that at the moment that I first saw you I fell in love with you-
not to me, nor to many others, because who would not?
Everything about you echoes perfection, unbelievable beauty,
a flawlessness that I have never forgot.

I believe that artists do not choose their muses, their muses choose them;
I have always felt that way about you- that you chose to inspire me,
to ignite my heart and mind, to capture the wonders of Earth
and the heavens with my pen.
Without your light to inspire and guide me,
I do not know who I would be.
The love that I feel for you has coursed through my veins
and your face and your name is indelible in every word of my poetry.
Life goes on and things change, but one thing that will never change
is who you are, and who I am because of you,
and that the waves created by a cast stone on an ocean
go in every direction and cannot be taken back-
the repercussions follow us our entire lives and remind us
that we are on the right track.
I have never felt more sure of anything else in my life
than I am in the belief that you and I may be distant geographically,
but we are bound to one-another, silently, like gravity.

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