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Saw Lady Natalia Paruz

From the second that I woke up in the morning
and I opened my eyes, and the curtains,
to let in the beautiful and spectacular light of the sun
on this day of inspiration and destiny,
I knew that this day,
the day that I had been waiting a long time to come to pass,
would be the day to give me a gift
that I had dreamt of, hoped for, and wished for, for years,
and as soon as I walked out of my hotel room
in New York City, and I walked down 6th Avenue,
and then down 57th street to the subway station
on the corner of 7th Avenue,
I could feel an energy all around me, enticing me,
calling to me, drawing me down the steps,
and through the subway tunnels
to the 34th street/Herald Square station,
where something amazing, where someone phenomenal,
beautiful, and unbelievable,
was already playing the music of her soul for all the world to hear,
for me, and who I knew, just as I could not wait to meet her,
she could not wait to meet me.

After I got my ticket at the ticket machine in the subway,
I went through the turnstile with the swipe of my ticket,
and then descended again deep into the New York City Subway
to the platform for the ‘Q’ train going South,
my heart was beating so hard in my chest with anticipation,
I was lost for words,
I had no idea what would be the next word I said,
I didn’t know what the next thing would be to come out of my mouth;
but I could hear The Music in my ear, in my mind,
and in my heart, all the while-
and that was why to everyone who was staring back at me
in the train car when I stepped on board, and sat down,
all they would have seen and remembered of me
was the ‘I love New York’ t-shirt I was wearing,
my wide eyes, and my big smile.

As soon as the train came to a stop, the doors opened,
and I set foot on the platform, turned left,
and then I ascended the stairs to the mezzanine,
I felt my heart open like the petals of a flower,
I felt captured, carried, ensorcelled,
I felt more amazing than I have ever felt before;
and when I reached the mezzanine,
when I heard the most beautiful sound
I have ever heard in my entire life
as clear and as perfect as the sound of the ringing of some
cosmically-important, resounding,
and heart-racing, transcendental bell,
I looked right in front of me,
as if there was no one else in the subway,
or in the rest of the city,
and I saw ‘The Saw Lady’-
the phenomenal and amazing, the wonderful, incredible,
majestic, unbelievable, my friend, Natalia Paruz,
and within seconds of me seeing her she saw me too
and greeted me with her shining, astonishing, and magnetic smile,
and with us making eye-contact with each other
for the first time ever, I just looked at her with a smile
on my face, so happy to be looking at her,
so lucky to be around her,
so overwhelmed, so energized, so caught-up,
and unable to look away from her,
completely and utterley in-awe.

When we spoke to each other,
and every time I heard Natalia say anything to me,
I felt like we were in our own little bubble of connection
and consciousness, and I felt like I was in the presence
of not only a fellow artist, but also a kindred poet,
who when she plays her saw so beautifully
she was not only creating and playing vibrating and stunning music
that from the amphitheatre of the subway
echoed and sent waves throughout the entire planet and beyond,
but also the most incredible, gorgeous, natural, perfect,
and timeless, poetry.

Natalia then played a song, but not just any song-
a song that I felt and sounded as if she was playing it for me,
and no one else, and that me being here to hear her play
this beautiful, haunting, and incredible, song was something epic,
meaningful, meant to be, extraordinarily captivating, and inspiring-
like an act of fate, a miracle of the Angels of heaven,
it felt like destiny,
and hearing Natalia play is the most amazing thing
I have ever seen, or heard, in my entire life,
and meeting Natalia, The Saw Lady,
so long after first hearing her, and contacting her,
and telling her how unbelievable her music is,
and how much I love her playing,
meant so much, and for the rest of my life that first time,
and all the times I will see her and hear her play in the future,
will forever mean the world to me.

I didn’t want to walk away.
I didn’t want to return to the outside world
and leave Natalia’s aura, her constantly emanating
and immersing spirit that was who she was,
and what she lets flow and be conveyed through the air
in the sonic oscillations and in the divine motions,
reverberations, and vibrations-
like hearing the heart-beat of the universe…
and then my heart let out a silent cry of pure happiness, serenity;
and in that infinite moment I closed my eyes,
I said goodbye to Natalia,
but not with a sense or a pang of sadness-
with a knowledge and a feeling
that I would see Natalia again and again,
and because of that I walked away and I rejoiced-
because of her music, because of what her saw playing
and all the music that she is gifted to be able to endow
and present to the entire world…
music that is so beautiful and special;
hearing Natalia Paruz, my friend, “The Saw Lady”,
is the most incredible experience ever,
and when you hear her, like I do,
you will never forget her amazing face,
her beautiful smile, her miraculous music,
her fantastic heart, and her sawing voice.

Me and The Saw Lady

Every second of every minute,
every hour of every day,
the world turns on its axis,
and having seen the sights of this beautiful city,
having breathed in its air,
having felt every sound invigorate me,
wash over me, and overwhelm me,
it truly feels like this city is not just any city,
its people are not just any people-
it feels like this incredible city, New York City,
is the beating heart of the entire planet,
the centre of the world, the consciousness of reality,
the voice of humanity speaking to the rest of the galaxy.

It’s hard to describe what it feels like
and what you are thinking when you walk the streets and avenues
and you are surrounded by sound, colour, life, love, light,
passion, energy, boundless and breathtaking distance and height-
you find that you are constantly either looking to the distance,
or looking up at the buildings which you cannot see the top of
no matter how hard you try.

Walking through Central Park,
sitting in Central Park, as I am doing now,
on a bench directly facing a statue erected in honour
of William Shakespeare-
hearing, seeing, and feeling the mist of the sprinklers,
inhaling the smell of the grass,
sitting in-awe of the trees that surround me in every direction,
feeling the warmth of the invigorating and glowing golden sunlight,
looking up at the leaves on the trees
unlike any green I have ever seen,
watching people running through the park-
something that people actually love doing,
something that feels so special and unlike being anywhere else-
Central Park, to me, feels like the imagination
of not just the city, or Manhattan,
but also of something greater!
Being here is like a dream, being here is unbelievable,
being here lifts you up, makes you see things,
makes everything clear.

This city has really got under my skin.
This phenomenal, incredible, and beautiful, city
has captured my heart, opened my mind,
gifted me a sense of belonging-
as if I could easily stay here, walk this park every day,
dodge the millions of people on the sidewalks,
wait for the illuminated white figure at the crossings,
ride the subway, meet so many amazing and inspiring people
as I already have and feel like I was meant to be here,
like I was always meant to be here, like I never want to leave-
because that is exactly how I feel when I stop and I think
and I take in every second of peace, serenity, and exhilaration
that being in this city gives me.

This city is a city to be shared.
This city is a city that never stops giving,
and where everything and anything is there for the taking.
This city is a city beyond any expectations
that you could have of a place before you saw it,
and more special than any dream that you could chance to imagine-
to imagine such a place like this before you could see it
with your own eyes, you would not dare.

This city, New York City, means a lot to me.
This city is the place that I cannot wait to return to
again and again, and share every second of its importance,
and revel in its hustle and bustle,
and take-in every inspiring detail as the streets-
the people, its buildings, its life-
makes me feel phenomenal, overwhelmed, and empowered
with the most amazing energy.

This city is somewhere which speaks to me.
This city is somewhere where I feel like I am a part of it,
and it is a part of me.
This city is somewhere I am utterly, tearfully, so sad to leave
because it is somewhere that made dreams come true for me,
gave me experiences, and opened my eyes to another world
of hope, strength, optimism, and prosperity.
This city is always going to be there for me,
and I will always be there for it,
because there is so much for it to show me,
and so much more for me to do, feel, and see.
This city is The City.
There is nowhere else on Earth like New York City.

The stars above twinkle brilliantly
in the shimmering light of the Summer night,
the heat in the air, the closeness,
the stickiness, the dryness, the silence,
is like a blanket over everything,
but a cool breeze that feels as if it has magically
come out of nowhere makes everything feel
more like heaven then hell-
not too cold, not too warm: just right.

Well into the night, families, friends, people,
everyone is taking full-advantage of the great weather
and are out in their gardens enjoying themselves-
some people are drinking,
some people are just sitting there in the open-air,
some people are writing, some people are reading,
some people are trying to get a good night’s rest,
some people are listening to music-
this heat can make people do funny things,
things that until they surprise you
with something completely random that they do
you would never think they had it in them-
it’s like they’re under a spell.

It’s amazing to me how calm it is,
it’s phenomenal to me how beautiful the world looks
even in darkness,
it’s astonishing to me how much I and everything seems at ease,
it’s perfect to me how much people feel drawn together
to be together by something universally-natural and subconscious.

Lying on my bed, the insomnia from the heat of the night
soaks into me thoughts and makes me dream awake
of far-away tropical rain-forests, white sandy beaches,
and swimming in the cool revitalising ocean coast
of a lush isolated island somewhere,
and when I do dream the images that explode into life
and colour my imagination, my mind, my heart, and my soul,
make me sleep, wake, and live each day without a care in the world.

The energy hit me as soon as I entered the club,
the second that I walked though the door
the sound of the music consumed and transformed me,
and as I closed my eyes I could immediately
feel my heart begin to ache and throb-
the beats of the music that filled the space
and released me from my body,
coursed through my consciousness and revealed to all the real me.

When I opened my eyes I saw everyone around me moving as one
up and down to the sonic tides, pulses of light,
and electricity being generated by the captivating DJ-
nothing else existed in that everlasting moment-
we all wanted to stay within the self-contained universe
for all eternity, to move until we could not move no more,
to stay standing and connected to each-other until night became day.

The palpable spirit of the music overcame all inhibitions,
names, identities, differences, and persuasions;
the voice that breathed phenomenal new life into the lungs
and mind of those dancing like the music was compelling them to dance,
nodding their head in-sync to the rhythm of the vibration-
everyone, including me, was literally in a trance.

The space span like a rapidly-rotating galaxy,
everyone in the club was like a shining-star-
populating, radiating, making the walls, the ceiling,
and the floor come alive and disappear,
as if they were not there;
boundaries fell, everything became spectral,
everything and everyone felt special, celestial,
like the world that we know and love
is one parallel of a universe of multi-levels.

You can’t conceive how natural and phenomenal coming together like this is.
You can’t get enough of the closeness, the gravity, the elevation that you feel-
some of us feel the need to reach above us and touch the illuminated sky,
some of us want to wrap our arms around someone,
share in every moment of euphoria
as if this was the night when we realised that you don’t need wings
to rise above and see the world for what it is-
all you need to do is forget what you think you know,
then you will feel true freedom, release, and you will fly.

The music intoxicates us to greater depths than alcohol.
The sound penetrates us and returns us to a state of being
that feels almost prenatal.
The equilibrium of rebirth and metamorphosis
that floods our minds and veins,
that emanates from our eyes and faces,
is something we can’t restrain.

The state of becoming one with each-other,
tide together through the gift and the effect of music,
is proof-positive that we all exist
as part of a as-yet unfulfilled harmonic music,
and our relationship with the world and ourselves
is universally mnemonic, symphonic, ironic.

When we are all enjoying the atmosphere of a club,
it’s music, it’s people, it’s energy,
the forces that arise in the moment,
we hear and we become a part of something unbelievable-
a music that we hear and move to that we can also feel-
a cosmic reverberation that exists beyond the ultrasonic.

Our mind, our spirit, our consciousness, our soul-
everything about us that is the most important thing about us,
that is not of the body,
that is the most phenomenal thing about every human being,
that is deeper than any ocean anywhere on any planet,
and is the adhesive that holds together the whole.

Our essence extends beyond us.
Our mind never stops working.
While our body is resting, regenerating,
after being used to excess,
our mind interprets the messages that we have received,
but not clearly perceived, from the world around us-
a process that we can sometimes witness the progress of
while we are dreaming.

When a baby is born,
when a child first cries-out
and first extends the reach of their life-force and touches the heart
and connects with the consciousness of their parents,
the moment is so magnificent, overwhelming, and enticing-
it is as magnetic as the Earth’s core,
and as beautiful as the song of Angels.

When a body breathes its last breath,
and enacts its last deed;
when a body reaches its last instant of usefulness before death,
and you feel the sensation of being new-born again and free-
at that moment you need nothing,
at that moment you hear nothing,
at that moment your entire life unfolds before you
and reveals the meaning of your life
and why you were so integral in keeping the universe expanding,
keeping the galaxy spinning, and keeping the world as diverse,
engaging, and wonderfully-unpredictable,
as it has always been since its beginning.

People never truly die.
When we die, I believe that all that we are, all that we ever were,
and all that we forever will be, goes on-
and as we shed our mortal shackles,
as we take our final look at a sunrise or a sunset,
we understand what it all means:
why people in our life mean so much to us,
and why acceptance and realization is life’s key-
that is when all existence comes into focus,
and we understand that we are celestial beings in our natural form
of many states of reality that are not of the body.

Every time I hear your voice,
I close my eyes and I imagine the limitless sky of my mind,
I see the breathtaking hues of a beautiful sunset-
and shining above me the light of the moon watches and washes over me;
every time I listen to you sing,
I feel a peace come over me,
I feel as if my mind is racing a thousand miles an hour
as the Earth turns slowly;
I feel more, I see more, I believe more,
than anyone has ever thought they could before-
and it is because of you that is possible,
it is because of the gift of you that I adore.

When I first heard your phenomenal voice
I was physically and visibly enraptured-
the more that your voice entered into my soul,
inspired and gave growth to the seed of my internal voice and horizons-
I felt as if the hope of my dreams coming true had been reassured.

I believe that you were gifted to us all
so as to make a difference in peoples lives
that they will pass onto others
and will one day use to change the entire world for the better.
Every time someone feels inspired, or energized,
they will hear the faint beautiful sound of your voice,
and they will see your face like that of a spectre.

You have touched so many peoples heart,
and you have influenced so many peoples lives and minds-
and on behalf of everyone who loves you,
I would just like to say thank you for being you;
because every day you give something to the world
that has never been seen, or heard, before-
every new song is like your debut.

I would just like to wish you many congratulations, limitless love,
and my belief that your union will renew itself
and become more powerful and more special
for every day that you two share.
I hope you and your family
will go on forever, Kirsty,
because what connects you to the world is incredibly rare.

My ode to the beautiful Kirsty Hawkshaw on her Wedding Day

This is a selection of 17 poems that I was inspired to write after I first came into contact with the wonderful actress Luciana Carro! Luciana is the person who first inspired me to start writing poetry! I was instantly ensorcelled by Luciana’s unbelievable beauty, her incredibly-generous and selfless spirit, her amazing and seemingly-effortless talent, and her joyous and optimistic outlook on life. Enjoy!

‘Blessed’ (The first poem I ever wrote)

You have been blessed with a smile that would bring happiness to all who gaze upon you,
who has only to speak with heavenly tongue and make someone anew.
All that hear your voice would grant you any wish that you would make,
your eternal spirit will walk the lands of the Earth and endure in history’s wake.
You will live on in the hearts and minds of those who have gazed upon you,
one day you will be given the awards that you are due.
You see yourself as imperfect even though you are a queen,
you are truly unlike anyone that I have ever seen,
you have many friends who consider you the best,
you are perfection incarnate: that fact I must put to rest.
You are a timeless beauty created under Angel guise,
who has been blessed with grace and joy, and who would outshine the light of heavenly skies.

‘Belle of the ball’

You are without a doubt the most beautiful of all,
someone who could be called ‘the belle of the ball’.

The most beautiful smile, the most gorgeous gaze-
the most talented actress whose beauty always sends me into a daze.

The word ‘perfection’ was created for you and you alone
to describe the most flawless in creation- the definition for which you own.

No one more beautiful exist in this world-
you are the epitome of perfection, and I love how your hair is curled!

‘Indescribable’

As I sit here now and stare at your beautiful face,
in my mind I am instantly transported to another place:
a waking dream-scape of reality and rhyme
where your beauty makes it possible to stop the hands of time;
where the world can be seen as it is meant to be seen;
where perfection can be described and chaos is serene;
where muse inspires poetry and words inspire hope;
where the reflection of your luminosity is like looking through a kaleidoscope;
where the complexities of the world are but a simple answer;
where I dream of a world in which their will one day be a cure for every cancer.

Upon returning to the world of observable reality,
I discover that I am completely free of any preconceived fallacy:
the dream that I imagined, and the perfection that I observed,
inspires words to the page, and I become unreserved,
to attempt to describe the simply indescribable:
the eternal light and the most beautiful.

‘Magical’

‘Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone’
was the first book in which the young wizard became known,
when he enrolled at Hogwarts and first met Hermione and Ron-
not before going to Platform 9¾ and taking a ride on
the Hogwarts Express and arriving at the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry-
where Harry first puts on the sorting hat, and discovers a three-headed dog called Fluffy.

Like Harry Potter, to me you are just magical;
enchanting on every level, you never fail to enthrall!
You are truly spell-binding, and could out-do even Dumbledore-
after seeing you no one need search for the most beautiful anymore.

‘My Dream’

As soon as I close my eyes I see your face:
the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,
the golden ratio of perfection and grace.

As if carried by the wind I hear your voice:
the most enticing thing that my ears have ever encountered,
it enraptures my mind and causes my heart to rejoice.

In the fresh air of a summers day I smell your perfume:
the most delicate and intoxicating,
like the smell of roses as they come into bloom.

As if plucked from heavenly sky
your hypnotic eyes sparkle and shine,
and their beauty will stay with me until the day I die.

‘Infinitely Auspicious’

I remember the first time I saw The Wizard of Oz,
and even though I was very young I still remember how mesmerizing it was.
The first time I saw you it took me awhile to regain my composure;
like Dorothy, when her world turned from sepia to colour,
I felt as if until that moment I had only seen the world in a monochrome way-
and now the full-spectrum of reality was now on display.
I never imagined I would ever see anyone as beautiful,
until I saw you for the first time I never dreamed that anyone could be so graceful;
so mesmerizing to the eye and hypnotic to the mind;
so pure of heart and exceptionally kind;
so full of life, and impeccably gorgeous;
so inspiring to the soul, or infinitely auspicious.

‘My Muse’

Before you my words had no meaning;
before you I had no idea that I had been concealing,
that which I now try to express in verse and rhyme
about the most special person in existence who no one could ever malign.

Your presence in my life has been so inspirational to me,
more so than anyone could ever hope to be.
Before you I could not imagine myself writing as I am now,
because before you I had never felt the inspiration that you endow.

You are a shining angel, whose exquisitely beautiful face
follows me into my dreams and serves as my poetic interface.
Since the very second I first saw you I knew you were special,
I didn’t know who you were but I knew you were going to be consequential.
I can’t explain how, and I don’t remember exactly when,
but from the minute I saw you I have not been the same since then.

Why do I write? I have been asked since I began nearly a year ago;
to which my response is always the same: because it is the only way that I know how.
However, the real reason, I have to confess, is all because of you:
because without you my words would be misconstrue:
unfathomable, without meaning, is how I am sure people would describe
my poetry without you as my muse, and it is to you I would like to ascribe
every poem that I have ever written-
because if you hadn’t realized by now I am guilty of being smitten.

‘Earth to my Moon’

The first time I saw you I was mesmerized by your adorability-
like the Moon to your Earth, I was attracted by your gravity.
I knew in that moment I was looking at divine bliss-
an angel of heaven, a goddess, the source of eternal happiness.
My chest felt like a cage imprisoning my heart,
which beat faster than a drum, and which I thought someone may have to restart.
In that instant everything came into alignment,
my heart felt as if it had been let out of confinement:
I saw within you something that will be with me every day until my end-
an essence that no one else could ever transcend.
You are special and will forever send my emotions into an uproar,
you are someone who inspires me to write and who makes my mind soar.

‘Angel’

You are an Angel of that I am sure,
one of great beauty and with a heart that is pure.
You bring light and joy to all that know you;
you have the most beautiful smile of anyone I ever knew.
Exceptionally talented, the model of grace and perfection,
you can do no wrong in my eyes because you are a revelation:
a direct descendant of Aphrodite herself, the goddess of beauty and love-
who is said to have risen from the sea, while you were sent from above.
All that gaze upon you are instantly taken aback,
because there is no one more beautiful and that fact will always remain intact.

‘You are…’

You are the most beautiful in all of creation;
you are the light that illuminates devastation;
you are the angel of joy and devotion;
you are the source of all emotion;
you are the constant in all of my thoughts;
you are the view which never distorts;
you are the perfection that we dream of all our lives;
you are the one from where all beauty derives;
you are the epitome of positivity and fun;
you are the most special person I have ever gazed upon;
you are the gift more prized than a dove;
you are the one who I will always love.

‘Vision of Perfection’

A vision of perfection from heaven above,
is what you are reminiscent of;
when people are blessed by a visit from the divine
it is your gaze that they see looking back with a shine.
In my mind every angel must look like you:
the most beautiful in all of creation, who no one will ever be equal to.
You are the paragon of perfect design,
not to mention the patent for all that is divine.
Constantly in the thoughts of those who know you,
there is no one else in your league and that will always be true.

‘Aurora’

You, like Aurora, are the goddess of the dawn;
but you are the only goddess to whom I am drawn.
Aurora announces the arrival of the sun,
while your beauty announces the arrival of the one.
You are the one who is the woman of my dreams;
you are the one who has a smile that gleams;
you are the one who will forever be the focus of my affection;
you are the one who is impervious to any imperfection;
you are the one who has eyes that could brighten any darkened room;
you are the one whose fragrance is more potent that the strongest perfume.

‘Incredible’

‘Incredible’ is the word which instantly comes to mind
when I think of you, because you are beauty refined-
the purest form of perfection that I have ever seen,
the woman who makes my heart race faster than caffeine.
You stimulate my mind like no other ever could,
because you have a quality that is never misunderstood.
My words could never truly describe
the wonder that is you nor the effect of your vibe.
You are the most amazing person who I have ever laid eyes upon,
the most beautiful woman in the world who will never be outshone.

‘Heart of Gold’

You, my love, have a heart of gold-
one that is pure, for which god broke the mold.
You are a masterpiece, breathtaking, the jewel in the crown
of everyone on Earth- who no one could ever put down.
You are my inspiration, my muse, the one who I write about;
the most special, the most graceful, the one who the world could never live without.
You are a princess of beauty and elegance-
where all that is perfect has come to a coalescence.
You are without a doubt in a league of your own,
for whom my love for has been set in stone.
Whenever I see your face you stir-up so many emotions in me:
you are responsible for allowing my poetic voice to break-free.
For Valentines day I have written this poem especially for you,
because you are the only one who my heart yearns for and that will always be true.
I cannot truly convey the feelings that you stir in me each and every day,
but ‘I love you’ is the only thing that I really want to say.

‘To love you, or not to love you’

To love you, or not to love you; to me there is no question:
one only has to look into your eyes to instantly feel a connection,
an overwhelming adoration, an instant and powerful attraction;
you are a vision of perfection, and will always inspire my imagination.

To love you, or not to love you; to me the answer is beyond words:
one only has to see your face from afar and instantly be drawn towards
an angel of infinite beauty, a woman of impeccable grace;
you have enchanted my heart so that when I dream all I see is your face.

To love you, or not to love you; to me can only be found within:
one only has to think about you and realize that you are not a twin,
their is no one else like you, nor will their ever be;
you are the most beautiful woman that I have ever been blessed see.

I hope all your dreams come true and you receive much love
from everyone who says that it is you they think the world of-
your friends and family, and everyone that knows you:
those whose faces light-up whenever you come into view.

‘When I think of you…’

When I think of you I see your sparkling eyes:
like two stars in the night-sky, they shine brighter than the tails of fireflies.
When I think of you I see your beautiful smile:
evocative to the mind and yet so fragile.
When I think of you I see your delicate face:
so precious and beautiful- the model of perfect grace.
When I think of you I remember something that I once read;
a quote of something that Tennessee Williams once said:
that “life is partly made by the friends we choose,”
and I have believed that ever since you became my muse.
“The strongest influences in my life and my work are always whomever I love,”
is also something Williams once said, to which I have a complete understanding of.
When I think of you there is no one else comparable,
because you are unique and your talents are innumerable.

‘Beautiful Vista’

An endless white before my eyes,
like the page before my pen-
often the sign of a poet’s demise,
after which he never writes again.

As I watch the snow fall outside my window,
I cannot help but ask myself a question:
has my poetic voice been trapped in limbo,
forever to remain, no longer my heart’s expression?

As I look out at the beautiful vista of my snow covered street,
not an hour ago busy with cars and passers-by,
an image forms in my mind of someone I have yet to meet;
however, for whom my adoration I could never deny.

As I think about this person, patterns of words start to form-
like the blue sky that exists within the calm inside of a storm.
Where once their was chaos a vision of perfection now was prevalent,
my source of inspiration- who has always been the most benevolent,
was now all that I could think about,
and whose beautiful face I could not write poetry without.

ab imo pectore

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