My Poem ‘Melissa’

You are my butterfly,
I have been waiting for you my entire life;
you are who I want to be with until the day I die,
I want to be with you forever and one day call you my wife;
your happiness is all that matters,
I promise to give you all that I have;
your heart’s desire are the same as mine,
because you and I are one and the same,
and every day we look back at each other
through a mirror that will never shatter,
and I promise to be there for you always
to hold your hand, look into your beautiful eyes,
and make you laugh.
You brighten my day every morning
and keep me inspired every hour;
I go to sleep every night looking at your gorgeous picture,
and I imagine us together doing everything
and being a part of each other forever;
you keep me coming back for more, like a bubble-bee to a flower;
I am so lucky to be in your life;
you are a golden miracle,
you are a sparkling sun-kissed ocean,
you are a magical and mesmerizing treasure.

I have never met anyone like you,
you are the best thing that has ever happened to me;
I have never felt for anyone like I feel for you,
you are more than words could ever describe,
and I have been unable to control or describe exactly
what I feel when I look at you,
nor could I ever thank you enough for what you do for me every day.
You are so special, you are so invigorating,
you take the beats of my heart to another level,
you are a blessing to the entire world,
and I will always love you,
and I will be there for you like no one ever has,
and fight the fights for you that need fighting.

You and I are the composers of the same song.
You and I are the rhythm of each other’s life,
and we know each other as well as we know ourselves.
You and I are meant to be,
and as we walk together side-by-side
we will never put a foot wrong.
You and I are each other’s life’s blood,
and the air in each other’s lungs,
and the constant reinvigoration of each other’s spirit-
and we are each other’s daily-assured regimen
and source of happiness, and the guaranteed and dependable
magic potion for good luck and good health.

I think about you every second.
You are my everything-
my here, my now, my dream come true, my future.
I am in-awe of you more than any other star I have ever seen,
and your light fills my world more so than the sun.
You are perfect. You always will be all that I want,
and I promise to love forever, my goddess, my princess, my angel,
my Melissa.

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My Poem ‘Where do I begin?’

I can’t tell you what just happened;
I can’t say with complete certainty
what everything all means;
I can’t make sense why things are the way they are,
because none of what occurred was in no way planned.
I can’t forget what was said, because it meant so much-
it still does;
I can’t be someone I am not-
no matter how hard I try, no matter what direction I try to go in,
I feel in limbo, stuck in quick sand, frozen in-between,
and no one can understand how hard it is for me to not think
about the fractured mirror of my memories
that can’t ever be reformed whole in the same way again-
because there are shards and pieces missing,
and the glass will now always be covered in cracks.

It’s raining outside today.
I am crying a monsoon of tears inside.
The weather is symbolic and an expression of how I am feeling-
cold, clouded, grey, uncertain, depressing;
I can’t help but question what people have said to me in the past
and rethink their sentiments,
and I wish I could restore so easily what I have lost
and what has been taken away, because I can’t take back and collect
all the tears that I have cried.

I just want the sun to come out and burn away the clouds
and make things how they were again;
I just want to know without any doubt that I am not going mad,
that I didn’t just imagine the world that I saw
and thought I knew;
I just don’t want to be told what I want to hear-
I want what I have always wanted:
a life to share with someone, inspiration, friends, family, love,
and a happy new year.

The future feels more uncertain now than it has ever been-
there is still hope, light, energy, holding on to me,
sustaining me, reminding me that not all that we lose is lost forever,
and right now that is what I need.

I wont walk away.
I wont forget.
I wont delete anyone from my life.
I wont retouch or alter the picture emblazoned in my head.
I wont stop hoping.
I wont stop believing.
I wont tear up anything and throw it in the bin.
I will come to understand what has happened one day, I am sure,
but until then I will remember everything,
and go back and figure out what has changed and why,
and perhaps what I could have and should have seen and done something about,
but the question is: where do I begin?

1/1/2014,
Starbucks, Coventry

My Poem ‘The Antipode Roads’

Mirror, mirror, on the wall;
if I were to step through you, like Alice, what would befall?
Would I encounter a reflection where up is down, and down is up?
Where the English football team has won more than one World Cup?
A reality of renaissance, where writer’s are treated like rock stars?
A reality of robot butlers, in which there really are Martians living on Mars?
A reality where the internet has a leader, and Twitter is a bona fide religion?
A reality in which there is a President of a United States of Britain?

If you could visit a parallel-universe, even if it was just for one day;
and you were then returned to your “own life”, how would you convey
what you saw, what you felt- where would you start?
Would such a perception altering adventure change your mind, or your heart?
What if you were to knock on “your” door, and you were to meet “yourself”;
how would you react if you discovered that “you” were not in the best of health?
Would you look at this “mirror reality” and perceive it as a valid reflection;
the other side of the coin toss: an opposing, yet connected, truth, life, and inflection?

What if every choice you never made, you actually make in “another life”-
a universe in it’s own right: the “other side” of happiness, or the “flip side” of strife?
Every now and then we come to a fork in the road, and we all must make a choice-
a time when we must look inwards, and listen to our inner-voice:
Should I walk tall, or go back? Should I turn left, or should I turn right?
Should I take a risk, or stay as I am; should I wear black, or should I wear white?
Is your life dictated by destiny? Or, does it depend on the spin of a wheel?
Do you sometimes agonize over a decision, while other’s just “keep it real”?
Whether you make the “right” decision is ultimately out of your hands;
because in another life “you” live every choice- while the universe has it’s own plans.