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The easiest thing to do is to say nothing,
the easiest thing to do can feel like the best thing to do,
and because it feel easy to you it seems like the best thing to do-
and if you go too deep and if you happen to go too far
with something even though you know shouldn’t
but you did because you needed to-
it can be a long, hard, heart-breaking journey back for you.
“What is the alternative?”, I ask myself everyday.
I am unable to just switch off my emotions
and forget what has happened with the snap of a finger.
That is what happens when you fall into the powerful realm
of love, and you immerse yourself in every effect of its drug
and the way that it makes you feel- love is great, amazing,
unbelievable, but what people don’t tell you
and can’t explain to you fully is that love is a road
that is hard to turn off from,
and the speed that you drive down it
and what every moment and experience does to you
is extremely addictive.

Silence is a bullet to your heart.
Holding back can fracture your mind.
When you feel like you are the only one in pain,
explaining to anyone else can seem like a story
you have no idea from where to start.
When you need someone to listen to you and be there for you,
and when they choose not to be there,
the world can seem riddled with darkness and doubt,
hard to take, and to put it mildly unkind.

You feel like you are alone,
even though you are not.
You feel like you can’t even sit looking out at the world
from the place of love and security that is your home.
You wait for a response from someone with an anticipation
that makes your entire body feel inflamed and hot.
You feel confused by every conversation that you have,
because you feel like you have run out of things
to say to each other.
You make yourself believe that you can do no right,
that you will always feel this way forever.

People see you,
and even though you think they have no idea
what you could possibly be thinking and feeling,
they know exactly what you are going through-
the expressions on their faces are as telling as your own,
the memories of a similar time in their lives floods back
and they don’t have to feel a thing, they just know.

The key to getting through anything is to reach out, not recede.
The key to getting over a wall is to grow,
to look up, to want to overcome what is in front of you,
and to tell someone what you need.
It’s not a bad thing. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s never the wrong thing to express what you are thinking,
especially if it involves something intense
and all-consuming as love.
The key is to keep thinking, to keep doing,
to keep making, to keep walking.
For me, I know better than anyone
that if you have something to say
then you must say it, even if the person you are saying it to
doesn’t like it, or doesn’t want to hear it,
hears it, reads it, and then quickly forgets it,
and doesn’t reply to it.
The only thing I will say if you are feeling something in anyway,
is don’t stay silent, don’t fade away-
pick up the phone when someone is calling.
Keep talking.

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