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When the morning light hit my face,
and I slowly began to open my eyes;
when I got out of bed,
and I looked in the mirror,
I immediately flashed back to the night before,
and the face I saw and the memory of the look in my eye
that I cannot erase-
the one that said, and always says to me: embrace life,
and let the constant adventure that you are on
take you far and take you high.
At the end of the day,
when the sun has set and it is officially night,
people change like the colour of the sky changes
from blue to black-
the choices you make, the things you do,
what you intake, what you say and listen to,
are different than at any other time of the day,
and people can act like a completely different person
when they can let their hair down,
and drop their guard,
and let their intoxicated instincts guide them
to varying expressions of their own colourful inner-light.
Some people don’t remember hardly anything
after a long night that turns into a morning of crawling;
some people can drink a lot and remember everything;
some people when they drink cannot stop talking;
some people when they are inebriated dance, laugh,
take off their clothes,
sometimes they wrap their arms around everyone,
and when they hear a great song being played
they let their voice be heard loud
and they sing like The King.
A night on the town;
an experience of visiting and going
to many different venues, places, clubs, and bars;
a night of laughs, music,
and pictures of friends enjoying themselves
and acting like clowns,
are great to remember and remind yourself of,
as long as at the end of the night
you don’t end up somewhere where you didn’t really want to be-
like in the back of a police car.
All good things must come to an end,
and so must a long, but great, and fun night;
flashes of what happened and what was said
rise to the surface of your consciousness
and can fill you with both regret and relief;
every night is short, every night is different, every night is brief-
however, every night counts,
and as the sun rises and the dark becomes the light and bright,
just remember that somewhere, at all times of the day on Earth,
and constantly in space, we, like the world we live on,
are constantly turning, spinning, and existing,
in a perpetual night.
Today is my birthday.
Well, in actual fact, today, right now it is not my birthday,
my birthday is two days away;
however, the next time that someone reads this poem
will be on the day of my birthday,
and the next person to read it will be you,
and if you are reading this you probably already know me,
but if you don’t know me I would just like to say hello
and thank you for finding me.
To everyone, I just want to say that the last 33 years-
all the years, all the months, all the days-
have been more amazing and more epic than I could ever truly describe,
and you who have been with me, and who have followed me along the way,
have been fantastic and amazing,
and I would not be me if it was not for you.
What a life! What a world!
What a ride it has been!
What has happened to me throughout my life
has been more than words could ever describe,
ever since I was a boy and my hair was curled.
Am I who I thought I would be when I reached the age of 33?
Did I think what happened would ever of happened to little old me?
Someone once told me that “life was better than a dream,
because everything that happens to us while we are awake is tangible and real”;
but then again, there is a favourite quote from a favourite book of mine
that I love that says something along the lines of “life is but a dream”.
To me, dreams are the place where great and epic ideas happen
and where we all break a timeless seal,
and life is where we take those ideas and thoughts
and run with them, and ride there currents
like a fast-moving stream.
What I have seen;
what I have learned;
who I have met face to face, and in my dreams,
who I have have been saved by when it looked as if
all my bridges were going to be burned,
has given me everything anyone could ever want and dream of,
and what has not yet happened will either take the form of a figurative
black crow, or a white dove.
My life has changed so much, and it is about to change again;
my life is constantly changing shape, changing colour,
changing feel, changing speed, and that is why sometimes
I have to stop, take a breath, and count to ten.
My life, like the universe, like my mind, like my heart,
is always on the move, and never rests
even when I am lying asleep in bed;
my life, and me, has been dark and black,
light and white, and my life and I is there for all the world to see,
when I write the poetry of my life, and it is read.
Life is brilliant.
The people we meet,
the friends we make,
are all one in a million.
The smiles that we see
and create are heaven sent.
Our lives, our days,
our experiences, our adventures,
never stop and have made us who we are
since we were children.
We are all special.
The world is our oyster.
Every day can be magical and hopeful.
What we share with others,
no matter how far away they are,
will always draw us closer.
Whether up a snow-covered mountain,
or below a beautiful ocean;
whether trekking across a desert
with a purpose, a camera,
a notebook, and a pen,
or having fun with your friends in the sun,
you are constantly being gifted
a once in a life-time opportunity
to see all things and everyone for all their beauty.
Hope is the most powerful motivator.
Inspiration is the most important light that can shine upon us.
Love is the most phenomenal force of peace in the universe,
and unites all galaxies- no matter how far far away they are,
and can unite everything and everyone-
even if the stars themselves were at war.
Fate is the cord that can never be cut.
The hours of the day can sometimes feel like a fast-moving current.
The sun rising in the East is always a great
and beautiful omen that is heavens-given.
The song of our time, like the beat or our heart,
is mesmerizing, awesome, beyond compare,
and breathtakingly brilliant.
If it were not for each other and all that make us who we are
we would not be beautifully human.
Every second is a unique moment,
every sight that we see is a great vision,
every thing that happens is a source of magnificent insight,
every day can be the best day ever.
If I could go anywhere, where would I go?
If I could be anywhere, where would I be?
I would love to be walking the streets of New York City,
or looking out the window of Starbucks on 6th Avenue,
where I vividly remember sitting, reading a book,
writing a poem, and enjoying a cappuccino.
I would love to go for a walk in Central Park,
hand-in-hand with my best friend,
and then sitting by the pond at the centre of the park
on a bench with not even the sounds of the city
to be heard, as we sit there in bliss,
as we hear the call of birds singing in the trees.
If I were to wake up in the morning and find myself in Georgia,
I would be over the moon.
Right at this moment, and almost constantly throughout the day,
I fantasize about climbing the Blue Ridge Mountains
and being inspired by my muse as she guides me
and shows me all the beautiful sights of the “Peach State”
and being in two states of America simultaneously at times,
because I will literally be able to walk and cross a state line
with the ease and simplicity of whistling a tune.
Listening to my favourite music with my friends, at the same time,
in the same place- all of us together for the first time ever-
would be so awesome and so epic hearing the same songs,
moving to the same beat would be one of the best,
the most perfect, the most amazing experiences of my life,
and the most fantastic and idyllic.
Eating an orange on a beach in the hot Florida sun,
would bot only be incredible right now,
it would be so much fun-
hearing the waves crashing, as I take a bite of every segment
of the most juicy and delicious piece of fruit I have ever had
in my entire life, would feel like being in heaven,
and I would give anything after finishing my orange
to be able to get up, take off my flip flops,
and go for a long barefoot run.
If money was no object, if any wish that I made could come true,
I would go to my nearest airport and I would book a one-way ticket,
I would go somewhere special, I would go somewhere new.
If the destination could be anywhere,
and if the means to get there could be any form of transport.
I would go to the place that my heart beats for,
and where I dream of being, fly off into the sunrise-
whilst all the while seated in my window seat looking out,
looking forward, while still holding on tight to my boarding-pass
and my passport.
The lonely word.
The lonely heart.
The lonely world.
The lonely art.
The lonely voice.
The lonely face.
The lonely choice.
The lonely race.
You can sometimes think you are walking alone
even when you are in a crowd;
you can sometimes feel you are hearing nothing
even when the world sounds so loud;
you can sometimes see the world distorted;
you can sometimes hear the distant call
of someone who you may not have seen for a long time,
who is nowhere even near you at that exact time-
like the voice of a ghost,
but even though you can’t see that person
you have no doubt as to its origin,
and you will swear on your life
that you heard the person that you heard say what they said
in the way and in the voice that they said it.
The lonely soul just wants a mate.
The lonely journey is always more bareable
when you have got someone to travel it with.
The lonely note just wants to be played
until it becomes a source and a beacon of hope.
The lonely time can be when you are on a break.
The lonely place can be when and where you feel
like you have nowhere to be and nowhere to live.
The lonely mark can be the brightest and the most wonderful
and wise question and answer that can help you to cope.
Sometimes when you feel the most lonely,
you are the most surrounded by friends, energy,
affection, and love;
sometimes when you feel like you need somebody so badly,
you already and always have them with you-
because they are like the stars that are always there
twinkling in the dark heavens above.
Sometimes when you feel like you are being infected by something,
you are actually being cured;
sometimes the most inspiring and breathtaking thing in the world
can make you feel something incredible,
but can also be the loneliest of words.
Don’t look back.
Don’t think about what happened.
Just don’t think that any of this was your fault.
You did everything you could
to keep the light before everything forever went black.
You thought they were always going to love you.
You thought they were always going to be your friend.
Just think of this as a wake-up call,
or like an electrically-charged jolt to the heart.
You’ve burned your bridges to ashes.
The way you used to regularly travel great distances
over vast expanses can’t ever be remade.
You have given everything, and you always did,
and that debt was never going to be wholly repaid.
Just keep going. Just keep reading.
Just keep experiencing. Just keep writing;
don’t let this bring you down,
don’t let what happened make you feel sad,
or as if you are any less than what and who
you believe you are;
don’t let yourself be sucked inside yourself
like a black-hole ripping apart a beautiful star-
save yourself, run away if you have to,
get as far away from everything that is tormenting you,
discover something new, go somewhere you have never been,
imagine the clouds have gone and the sky is blue;
just imagine that all the pain you have just been feeling
was nothing more than a nightmare, or a bad dream;
you are stronger than you realize-
and if it helps, listen to your favourite song on repeat,
close your eyes, don’t think about the person that hurt you:
imprison them forever in the dark, cold, dungeon of your forgotten
and unimportant past life experiences you never want to revisit
and you want to forget, and throw away the key-
it serves no purpose to keep anything that reminds you of them-
they and you were never meant to be forever,
and in retrospect you already know this to be true
from the amount of time you tried to repair
and reconcile any differences you may have had,
but they always turned out to be seeds of a deeper,
toxic, growth, that if you let it grow near you
and around you forever it would eventually eat you alive.
Get out there.
Find and make new friends.
Don’t think or worry again about those who never cared.
Find and be with who you need, and who needs you;
and don’t feel sad at all;
and if you have to say anything to yourself,
just tell yourself that ‘unfortunately, in life,
things like this that are out of your hands,
just happen, and they need to happen, and it happens’.
I asked a friend who I should write about next,
and they said that I should write about me-
and then I started to think about what people know about me,
what my friends know about me, what those who I have loved,
and who love and have loved me, know about me,
and what I know about myself,
that I haven’t told anyone else before
that still remains a mystery.
My family know the day I was born,
where I was born, and where I grew up;
my friends know where I went to school,
who my teachers were,
and who I was in my developing years;
my close friends know what I like, what I love;
my best friend knows what I am thinking about all the time,
and knows the road I walk every day,
and knows the direction I am going,
and knows what makes me smile, and what brings me to tears;
my muse, my love, the voice I hear all the time in my head,
the one I dream of every night, knows me better than anyone
and knows my heart’s desires, and is with me every second
of every day, and who wants everything to turn out for the best
for both of us, and is my inspiration, strength,
and my future, every step of the way.
I was born on the 21st of April, 1981,
on the maternity ward of a village called ‘Marston Green’.
I grew up and still live in a village called ‘Meriden’
in the Centre of England, and surrounded by the most beautiful
and inspiring scenery, fields, and forrests, I have ever seen.
I went to high school at ‘Heart of England’ school
in ‘Balsall Common’, where I first fell in love with English
and literature, and where I had my first crush
on a girl called ‘Helen’.
When I left school, like most of my friends
and like anyone of the age of 16, braving the undiscovered
and new horizons of an unknown and scary bi wide world,
I didn’t know what I wanted to do, nor who I wanted to be-
I had no definitive direction to go in but forward,
but where that would take me I did not know,
but I knew that only one person would be the only one
to give me what I needed and who would be the key-
and that person was me.
I could never have predicted what would happen in my life.
No one could ever have told me what I would see,
what I would feel, what I would write.
I could never have wished, or ever have guessed,
that I would have been truly blessed every day
by something, or someone, that was both my day
and my night light.
So, is there more to say about me?
Is there a secret that has yet to be uncovered
and admitted to the world?
Why of course there is!
But what that is, both you and I will have to wait and see.
This is the last page of the last chapter
of this edition of my book, before I begin a brand new chapter
of a brand new book, and on the first page I will begin
the first poem of the next chapter of my life
and my journey-
I already know that it will be filled with so much
of what and who is in my life now, and always will be;
but I also know that my new book will be full, infused,
inspired, interlaced, with new muses, and new musings,
new dreams, new experiences, that could only have been possible
because of everything that has always been and is constant,
and will never change-
but I know with complete certainty that what is to come
and what I am going to write about
will be about things beyond my imagining,
and, unlike this poem, wont be all about me.
Sometimes you think you know the beginning of something
before you know the end;
sometimes you think you know with every certainty
what you are going to do with your life.
When you are a child it is so simple to imagine,
to anticipate, and see the good things that you want to happen to you,
and to you they are not just thoughts that you write in a diary
or a journal, and they are not just the dreams that you share
with your best friend.
When you are a child every first step that you take is an adventure,
and you just do what you feel in the moment,
and you say what you think in an instant,
and everything is possible,
because you haven’t yet been told that the most important thing
to do in everything you do is to try.
There are no disappointments,
at least there shouldn’t be as long as you remember,
even though you are a child, that as long as you still have yourself,
your mind, and your heart, and something to believe in,
and someone to believe in you;
and as you grow older, if you stay true to what feels right
and what your first instincts tell you,
you will one day look back with a smile,
and wonder how unbelievable it is that the moments of your life,
like the years, have gone by so fast-
so much so they feel like they have flew.
I am always fascinated by what the first thought is
that someone remembers of their lives.
My first clear and recognizable memory
is of my first day of primary school,
and being late that morning for some reason.
I am always in awe by what a child says,
no matter what it is, because they never have no end of things
to say about everything, and because they are surprisingly
articulate, knowledgeable, open, and right.
My first day at school was when I first said ‘I’m sorry’
and I gave my first gift to my teacher for being late-
it was only a box of chocolates,
but I do remember her telling me that is was alright,
and her saying thank you to me and to my Mom-
it’s so strange, because even though that happened so long ago
it feels like yesterday,
and at that moment, and at that time,
my mind, body, and senses, raced and lived truly and wholly
in the moment, and I didn’t fixate or even realize
there was such a thing as a horizon.
As we get older, we unfortunately do forget.
In this day and age our lives seem to revolve around numbers
that we feel compelled to constantly remember,
so we can do what we have to do,
and so we can get what we want to get.
The world has changed so much since I was a boy.
I have seen technology, opinions, countries,
cities, sky-lines, people, language,
and what children and adults are constantly being told
what they need in their lives and what they should think-
whether it is an expectation, or an image,
because it is what everyone else has in the form of a
new disposable and unimportant,
but seemingly vital new toy.
But the world is change. Change is the nature of life,
and the life-blood of the entire universe.
When things change everyone know that they must adapt to survive,
and to me that is why change is a gift to be cherished
and relished, not a problem or a curse.
The more we live and the more we experience,
the more our lives blossom in ways that know
and don’t have to imagine when we are a child,
because we feel it in ourselves-
just as we know and feel the change within us,
and sometimes that can make us want to break free
and run wild, unrestricted and unconfined,
and because we are still discovering who we are
and who everyone and what everything is,
nothing is out of reach or not aloud.
What I rediscover and realize more and more day by day
is that I don’t see myself the way I sometimes feel
I am supposed to see myself,
because I see how others my age look at me
and look at themselves,
and because most people these days are so used to
being told what they should think, feel, like, dislike, say, and do;
I suppose I am the opposite of that and I recognize
that same freedom of expression and identity in so many others that I see-
people who just want to be a person and not a number,
even if that number is their age.
I find that if you live free and embrace every hopeful moment
it shows in every part of you,
and to everyone around you it really tells.
As birthdays come and go;
as the days begin earlier, but feel shorter;
as I realize that life is more about who you know
sometimes more so that it is about what you know;
as I realize, what I used to not ever think about
and simply act upon when I was child,
that the feeling of the moment is more important
than worrying about what hasn’t happened yet,
and may never happen.
I realize that even though in counting the years
that I have been alive, breathing, thinking,
and feeling on this planet,
I may appear or seem to be getting older,
I am in fact in spirit doing the opposite of that-
because I truly feel that I am growing younger.
Today is the last day of the year;
today is day 365;
today is the last day I will be and feel this way,
but it’s ok- I know this is how it has to be, so there is no fear;
today is still my day to shine like a star,
live and feel alive.
This last year has been indescribable.
These last 12 months, these last 52 weeks,
have been incredible-
some of the best days, hours, minutes,
and moments of my life;
but there are memories that I never want to revisit,
there are feelings I don’t want to remember,
and I must say that admitting that does make me feel awful-
because to me memories and experiences have always been precious,
and gifts that I hold on to and look at every day,
and never take for granted or throw away.
I am fortunate to be able to go back and read where I was,
what I was thinking, what I was feeling, on a particular day,
because I write and record my life for everyone and anyone
to read, and describe who I am at a specific moment in time,
encapsulated within a photo, a poem, an insight, or a rhyme;
I am thankful to have the life I have-
to be able to have a heart and feel the energy of love
burning in my chest, and to be able to feel
the intense pain of heart-break.
I feel pity for the people who have hurt me.
I feel happy, and I wish the best for the people
who have been so giving to me in infinite ways,
and every day give me my daily muse and inspiration,
who are amazing, my friends-
the hopeful, the great, the kind.
Looking over my shoulder at the year that has gone by,
I want to smile, I want to laugh, I want to sing,
I want to close my eyes, I want to remember,
I want to forget, I want to cry.
Looking back and remembering all that has happened to me,
it feels like an entire life-time happened before my eyes,
as if it all happened within a flash of light,
or the blink of an eye-
I went to places and I met people that I will never forget,
and I never want to;
I travelled forward and backwards in time,
but even though for a while there I forgot my daily mantra,
and stopped believing in my own philosophy,
I am now in no confusion that everything happens for a reason,
and all that goes around and makes us who we are
is just a matter of time.
The most important thing to know and never forget
is to never give up, no matter who makes you believe
that you are wrong to believe everything
will turn out fine in the end-
the most important person to believe in is yourself,
because you are who you have to focus on first,
because you are you first and your last friend.
This year has been the year from heaven,
and the year from hell.
This year has taught me and showed me over and over again
that we are meant to do things and meet people,
because they are the vital stitches and fabric
of our patchwork destiny,
and the dreams that come true when we make a wish
and throw our hopes into life’s wishing well.
2013 was a good year, and it was a bad year;
to be honest, 2013 was a bit of everything-
it was unlike no other year I have ever lived in my entire life;
2013 was sad, wonderful, enlightening, exciting, intense-
there were experiences that I had which still make me smile even now,
when I have never felt more content,
and there were times when it felt like I had been stabbed in the chest
by a knife.
But it is ok. Everything is good.
My year was filled with death, mourning, deep thought, contemplation,
new friends, new inspiration, new and fantastic adventures,
new horizons, new life, new love;
and I have hope and I already know that 2014 is going to be the year
I have been waiting for all my life,
and I look forward to seeing, showing, and sharing my life
with you who are reading this,
because there are so many people that I look forward to meeting,
and there are so many things and places that I am dying to see,
where I can’t wait to return to, and where I have never been.
2014 can’t come soon enough.
So I welcome 2014 with open arms,
and I say goodbye with a wave to 2013.
Happy New Year! 🙂
Today is the day I have been waiting for all year,
today is the day I have always loved so much,
now is the time I have been waiting to show and tell
everyone I know on this beautiful spinning blue and green sphere,
that I am here and I will always be here for them when they need me,
and to say again to my true family and friends
that we have a connection that binds us all together
that no one will ever be able to touch.
You are in my life, and I am truly blessed to be in yours.
You are who I think about, love to talk to,
want to see, and have the opportunity of meeting,
and being in each other’s company be a goal, a treasure,
a gift, a present, a future, to work towards.
I don’t know who I would be without you,
but I do know that I would not be the person that I am.
I don’t know what would have happened to me if I had never met you,
but I do know that I would be like a river when it reaches a dam-
without you in my life to allow me to feel,
and let my eternal, internal, energy, love, and inspiration, flow free,
I would not have known, felt, or seen, the true, unbelievable,
phenomenal gift of life so many times in my life,
and I owe every moment of happiness, contenment,
belonging, and friendship to you,
and I want you who are reading this now to know that you
will always be one of the most important part’s of what makes me Me.
I always know when I have met and made a friend for life
the instant that we share our first word.
I always know when I have been given a special, important,
and neccessary link to everything that I want in my life,
when I feel like I have met someone before in another life before this one,
and like I already know them-
who they are, and that they are the light that stops my vision
from becoming blurred.
Now is Christmas time.
Today is Christmas Day.
Now I am thinking about those who make me and keep me going,
and who are my true, amazing, and wonderful, life-line.
Today is the best time to do everything you want to do.
Now is always when I want to express what I feel, and see,
and what I want to say.
Today is as I want every day to be-
filled with great friendships, amazing relationships,
epic music, inspiring moments, enlightening, trance-like,
conversations, and positive, energetic, optimistic, unique,
and enlivening poetry.
I can’t begin to tell you what you mean to me.
I can’t find the words to make you understand
how fantastic and brilliant you are-
and make you know, like I know and will forever know,
that our mutual discovery, and growth, is bound by destiny,
and every day I am constantly imagining and finding a way
to bridge our distances and make it so that even though
we are not face to face we are special guests
of the most incredible party, and that we are of one family.
What has been unearthed cannot be buried again.
What has grown cannot regress.
What has been learned cannot be erased from your brain.
What has fulfilled you,
and they who continue to give you so much happiness,
are the true and the most important gift of your life,
and every day- not just at Christmas.
You are who colours the rainbow of my spirit.
You are who is the light in my life.
You and I are synchoronous to each other,
and are of one never-ending orbit.
You and I are of one spirit,
and are of one light-
and I just want to wish you the best Christmas Day ever
with those who you love and who love you,
and the happiest, blessed, and the best life.
Happy Christmas!
The Life, the Light, the Tears, of the Poet of the Sphere 