My Poem ‘Now’

If I knew that today was my last day on Earth,
if I could feel and see the last strength
and the last light of me flickering,
if I could feel my spirit getting ready to leave my body
and journey to the stars,
then I would go to the one place in this world I have always wanted to go,
with the one person who I love with the power of a curse,
and we would do something that would be my life’s defining memory,
and it would be so amazing-
not only would I cry from my eyes,
but I would weep from my soul, from my dreams,
from the final breaths being expelled from my lungs,
as all I could hear over everything else
was the beat of my heart.

If this was my last chance to do anything;
if this was my last chance to say anything;
if this was my last moment to think something,
to feel something, to want something, to have something,
I would outstretch my fingers and take hold
of the hand of the one right besides me,
and I would look into their eyes and I would sing.

If my face was being touched by the sun for the last time, I would cry;
if my lips were being kissed by perfection I would smile,
and I would truly be content to close my eyes
and let go of gravity for the first time, for the last time,
and have the means and the gift to fly.

If the time of my life were to be ending;
if the finish-line were to be fast-approaching;
if I knew the one thing that was ultimately
the most important truth worth knowing;
not being able to stay and continue to live
and experience more would hurt more than anything-
because that is the fight that we all one day lose,
because we simply cannot keep fighting.

I really do wish that I could life forever,
but I also wish that everyone else too could go on
and live alongside me and with me for all eternity;
I wish I had a heart and a body
that would never give out-
sometimes I imagine that I am looking back at myself
with eyes that have seen infinity,
and I imagine that I hear myself say,
and especially at the moment that the curtain closes on me
for the final time: enjoy the all of the now.

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My Poem ‘I never said goodbye’

I watched you from afar on that dark moon-lit night,
as you walked towards your future and left me behind.
I wanted to say so much to you before you left,
but I just couldn’t-
when I realized that you leaving now would be forever,
that I would never see you again-
I just couldn’t say goodbye.
We were only meant to know each-other for a short-time,
I know that now;
we were never meant to be anything else to each-other
than what we were;
we only knew one-another for a few months
and you may not even remember me a year from now,
but I just wanted to say how important to me
the days, the hours, the minutes, and the seconds with you were.

The day after I first saw you, I wrote a poem about you;
today, a week after I last saw you,
I cannot help myself from feeling regret
that at the moment you may have wanted to say goodbye to me,
I did not have the heart to say goodbye to you.
This poem is a goodbye from me, that I wanted to say on paper now,
which I couldn’t say to you in-person before-
this is the only way left for me to say to you,
in spirit and in words of any kind, at least-
that you made me a better person for having known you,
as I always felt that you would
from the instant that I saw you waiting at the door.

It doesn’t matter if you never read this,
or if you never learn that you had a profound effect on me;
what matters to me is what happens to you now, in the future,
at the moment that you realize that you have everything in your life
that you ever wanted.
I will be like a tear that rolls down your cheek and then gets wiped away-
you will forget me, as you should;
you will go on and touch the lives of countless people your entire life;
what matters to me is that you are happy.

I don’t want to be anything other than grateful, for the rest of my life,
because of the fact and the effect that you had on me,
that will forever stay with me;
I don’t want to do anything but smile and think of you every time I cry.
I wanted to write something for you,
so that I could read back to myself and remember you by;
I wanted to say the farewell to you, somehow, that I wanted to,
because I will always be sorry that I never said goodbye.