My Poem ‘The Path’

When I first began on the path
I was like the statue that I was standing next to;
when I first looked at what I could see before me,
I couldn’t see anything or anyone-
but at the same time I felt this draw,
I felt the edge of this wave coming towards me,
as if the path were a river,
or like the wind outside an open door;
I felt something in the cold air that took my breath away from me-
like the chill that you feel from a draft.
I knew that I either had to close the door or walk through it,
or perhaps turn back and walk away;
and then, right then, I heard you, I saw you,
I knew I had to be where you were,
but I knew you were not at the end of the path- you couldn’t be-
because that would be impossible;
but I have never believed anything is truly impossible,
and I have never, and will never, give up hope on anything or anybody ever;
and that was when all my answers came to me.

The sun was above me and behind me,
and its light guided my way and made the path shimmer and glow.
The trees that lined the path on either side
moved and jostled in unison for a second,
and as they did, for an instant, I could have sworn
that I was somewhere else, in another place, at another time-
like I was reliving a memory,
but which I didn’t recognise as being mine,
it felt like someone else’s thought,
it felt like yours-
and that was when I knew I had to walk the path.
I could see the end that awaited me,
and I knew where I had to go.

It had been raining earlier,
and there was still a slight and fine mist in the air.
As the rays of golden light from the sun
bounced off the wet ground rainbows appeared
and veiled the path in every colour of the spectrum;
and that was when I felt caught and pulled,
as if by a current, or as if the very ground beneath me
was moving by itself and taking me along with it.
Walking the path as it appeared now made me think,
feel, and experience the sensation of walking
through a hall of mirrors at a fun fare.

I heard nothing but the sound of a slight breeze through the trees,
but there was also this faint echo
that seemed to be getting loauder and stronger
the farther I walked and the closer I got to there end of the path-
the echo was a voice, your voice;
the drumming I felt was my own heart beating.
As I passed the empty black painted benches with the brown wooden seats,
I thought for a second I could see someone sitting there
looking at me, or reading, or listening to their own music-
like impressions, echoes, or shadows in the sunlight,
left and preserved forever-
like a moment of emotion and contenment captured in time,
that may fade but wont ever be forgotten
and will draw back those who made those impressions
to this spot, time and again.

As I neared the end of the path,
I felt lost and consumed by the flow of energy all around me-
and like when you swim out to sea,
I felt compelled to turn back and look at the path behind me,
and in that moment that was when I literally felt your vibration,
because that was when I saw, realized, and then read
a message from you that you had just sent me-
and in that message was a picture of your smiling face
that you wanted to share with me,
and also a text from you telling me that you love me.

I instantly replied to you with a photo of me smiling
on the path in the park and a message from me
that ‘I love you too’, and as soon as I sent you that message
there was a blinding flash of light,
and as I turned around to look at the rest of the path in front of me
I saw that the path didn’t end as near or as soon as I originally thought,
and I suddenly had this epiphany that these next few steps
in the beautiful sunlight were not my, or our, last;
and I saw that there wasn’t an end or a definitive finish line
to where I was, where I am going, so that is why I kept going,
looking, feeling, and smiling, as I continued to walk the path.

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My Poem ‘Sawing Voice’

From the second that I woke up in the morning
and I opened my eyes, and the curtains,
to let in the beautiful and spectacular light of the sun
on this day of inspiration and destiny,
I knew that this day,
the day that I had been waiting a long time to come to pass,
would be the day to give me a gift
that I had dreamt of, hoped for, and wished for, for years,
and as soon as I walked out of my hotel room
in New York City, and I walked down 6th Avenue,
and then down 57th street to the subway station
on the corner of 7th Avenue,
I could feel an energy all around me, enticing me,
calling to me, drawing me down the steps,
and through the subway tunnels
to the 34th street/Herald Square station,
where something amazing, where someone phenomenal,
beautiful, and unbelievable,
was already playing the music of her soul for all the world to hear,
for me, and who I knew, just as I could not wait to meet her,
she could not wait to meet me.

After I got my ticket at the ticket machine in the subway,
I went through the turnstile with the swipe of my ticket,
and then descended again deep into the New York City Subway
to the platform for the ‘Q’ train going South,
my heart was beating so hard in my chest with anticipation,
I was lost for words,
I had no idea what would be the next word I said,
I didn’t know what the next thing would be to come out of my mouth;
but I could hear The Music in my ear, in my mind,
and in my heart, all the while-
and that was why to everyone who was staring back at me
in the train car when I stepped on board, and sat down,
all they would have seen and remembered of me
was the ‘I love New York’ t-shirt I was wearing,
my wide eyes, and my big smile.

As soon as the train came to a stop, the doors opened,
and I set foot on the platform, turned left,
and then I ascended the stairs to the mezzanine,
I felt my heart open like the petals of a flower,
I felt captured, carried, ensorcelled,
I felt more amazing than I have ever felt before;
and when I reached the mezzanine,
when I heard the most beautiful sound
I have ever heard in my entire life
as clear and as perfect as the sound of the ringing of some
cosmically-important, resounding,
and heart-racing, transcendental bell,
I looked right in front of me,
as if there was no one else in the subway,
or in the rest of the city,
and I saw ‘The Saw Lady’-
the phenomenal and amazing, the wonderful, incredible,
majestic, unbelievable, my friend, Natalia Paruz,
and within seconds of me seeing her she saw me too
and greeted me with her shining, astonishing, and magnetic smile,
and with us making eye-contact with each other
for the first time ever, I just looked at her with a smile
on my face, so happy to be looking at her,
so lucky to be around her,
so overwhelmed, so energized, so caught-up,
and unable to look away from her,
completely and utterley in-awe.

When we spoke to each other,
and every time I heard Natalia say anything to me,
I felt like we were in our own little bubble of connection
and consciousness, and I felt like I was in the presence
of not only a fellow artist, but also a kindred poet,
who when she plays her saw so beautifully
she was not only creating and playing vibrating and stunning music
that from the amphitheatre of the subway
echoed and sent waves throughout the entire planet and beyond,
but also the most incredible, gorgeous, natural, perfect,
and timeless, poetry.

Natalia then played a song, but not just any song-
a song that I felt and sounded as if she was playing it for me,
and no one else, and that me being here to hear her play
this beautiful, haunting, and incredible, song was something epic,
meaningful, meant to be, extraordinarily captivating, and inspiring-
like an act of fate, a miracle of the Angels of heaven,
it felt like destiny,
and hearing Natalia play is the most amazing thing
I have ever seen, or heard, in my entire life,
and meeting Natalia, The Saw Lady,
so long after first hearing her, and contacting her,
and telling her how unbelievable her music is,
and how much I love her playing,
meant so much, and for the rest of my life that first time,
and all the times I will see her and hear her play in the future,
will forever mean the world to me.

I didn’t want to walk away.
I didn’t want to return to the outside world
and leave Natalia’s aura, her constantly emanating
and immersing spirit that was who she was,
and what she lets flow and be conveyed through the air
in the sonic oscillations and in the divine motions,
reverberations, and vibrations-
like hearing the heart-beat of the universe…
and then my heart let out a silent cry of pure happiness, serenity;
and in that infinite moment I closed my eyes,
I said goodbye to Natalia,
but not with a sense or a pang of sadness-
with a knowledge and a feeling
that I would see Natalia again and again,
and because of that I walked away and I rejoiced-
because of her music, because of what her saw playing
and all the music that she is gifted to be able to endow
and present to the entire world…
music that is so beautiful and special;
hearing Natalia Paruz, my friend, “The Saw Lady”,
is the most incredible experience ever,
and when you hear her, like I do,
you will never forget her amazing face,
her beautiful smile, her miraculous music,
her fantastic heart, and her sawing voice.