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I closed my eyes,
I could hear the music not only in my ears,
but also in my heart and in my mind-
in every cell in my body, electrifying my skin,
making every hair stand on-end-
the energy, the feeling, the transformation
was nothing short of divine.
Even the sound of the rain on the nearby window
had a rhythm, a voice, a tone,
a unique music all of it own.
I could hear a song, an expression, an emotion-
like the sense of intense and claustrophobic air
that you get before a storm that effects the way you hear,
see, and think, and which touches you to the bone.
It was as if every voice of everyone,
every vibration of instrument
was speaking as-one-
a question and an answer that you could feel
and hear everywhere you went.
I felt a sense of calm take-hold of my heart.
I looked and saw a shimmering ghost-like reflection
in the mist of the raindrops as they fell and rose
to and from the ground.
I felt pain in my eyes, as if I had cried too much
for too long;
or like when you feel something so deeply,
but what you are feeling is hard to impart.
I looked inwards, behind my own eyes,
and I felt like a monarch that had newly been crowned;
I felt like I was in someone else’s skin,
but nothing was wrong.
The music was all that there was,
the music filled the entire world.
The music is always there at moments of ecstasy, need,
and at times of pain and loss.
The music is what you hear when a secret of the universe
is about to be revealed.
Life is the most amazing gift in existence;
love is the most wonderful miracle
that can ever be blessed on someone-
when you discover one day that your entire life
has all been preparation for meeting the one person
who truly loves you and understands you
and accepts you for who you are,
you never get over the power of that instant discovery,
and the daily insights into the meaning of all life,
as well as your own, that is represents;
and that is why life and love should be considered
the most precious and the most incredible treasure
that you can ever have in the palm of your hands,
and they will light the way of any path
that is in front of you more so than the sun.
Dedicated to my friend Surya Devi on her birthday
From the second that I woke up in the morning
and I opened my eyes, and the curtains,
to let in the beautiful and spectacular light of the sun
on this day of inspiration and destiny,
I knew that this day,
the day that I had been waiting a long time to come to pass,
would be the day to give me a gift
that I had dreamt of, hoped for, and wished for, for years,
and as soon as I walked out of my hotel room
in New York City, and I walked down 6th Avenue,
and then down 57th street to the subway station
on the corner of 7th Avenue,
I could feel an energy all around me, enticing me,
calling to me, drawing me down the steps,
and through the subway tunnels
to the 34th street/Herald Square station,
where something amazing, where someone phenomenal,
beautiful, and unbelievable,
was already playing the music of her soul for all the world to hear,
for me, and who I knew, just as I could not wait to meet her,
she could not wait to meet me.
After I got my ticket at the ticket machine in the subway,
I went through the turnstile with the swipe of my ticket,
and then descended again deep into the New York City Subway
to the platform for the ‘Q’ train going South,
my heart was beating so hard in my chest with anticipation,
I was lost for words,
I had no idea what would be the next word I said,
I didn’t know what the next thing would be to come out of my mouth;
but I could hear The Music in my ear, in my mind,
and in my heart, all the while-
and that was why to everyone who was staring back at me
in the train car when I stepped on board, and sat down,
all they would have seen and remembered of me
was the ‘I love New York’ t-shirt I was wearing,
my wide eyes, and my big smile.
As soon as the train came to a stop, the doors opened,
and I set foot on the platform, turned left,
and then I ascended the stairs to the mezzanine,
I felt my heart open like the petals of a flower,
I felt captured, carried, ensorcelled,
I felt more amazing than I have ever felt before;
and when I reached the mezzanine,
when I heard the most beautiful sound
I have ever heard in my entire life
as clear and as perfect as the sound of the ringing of some
cosmically-important, resounding,
and heart-racing, transcendental bell,
I looked right in front of me,
as if there was no one else in the subway,
or in the rest of the city,
and I saw ‘The Saw Lady’-
the phenomenal and amazing, the wonderful, incredible,
majestic, unbelievable, my friend, Natalia Paruz,
and within seconds of me seeing her she saw me too
and greeted me with her shining, astonishing, and magnetic smile,
and with us making eye-contact with each other
for the first time ever, I just looked at her with a smile
on my face, so happy to be looking at her,
so lucky to be around her,
so overwhelmed, so energized, so caught-up,
and unable to look away from her,
completely and utterley in-awe.
When we spoke to each other,
and every time I heard Natalia say anything to me,
I felt like we were in our own little bubble of connection
and consciousness, and I felt like I was in the presence
of not only a fellow artist, but also a kindred poet,
who when she plays her saw so beautifully
she was not only creating and playing vibrating and stunning music
that from the amphitheatre of the subway
echoed and sent waves throughout the entire planet and beyond,
but also the most incredible, gorgeous, natural, perfect,
and timeless, poetry.
Natalia then played a song, but not just any song-
a song that I felt and sounded as if she was playing it for me,
and no one else, and that me being here to hear her play
this beautiful, haunting, and incredible, song was something epic,
meaningful, meant to be, extraordinarily captivating, and inspiring-
like an act of fate, a miracle of the Angels of heaven,
it felt like destiny,
and hearing Natalia play is the most amazing thing
I have ever seen, or heard, in my entire life,
and meeting Natalia, The Saw Lady,
so long after first hearing her, and contacting her,
and telling her how unbelievable her music is,
and how much I love her playing,
meant so much, and for the rest of my life that first time,
and all the times I will see her and hear her play in the future,
will forever mean the world to me.
I didn’t want to walk away.
I didn’t want to return to the outside world
and leave Natalia’s aura, her constantly emanating
and immersing spirit that was who she was,
and what she lets flow and be conveyed through the air
in the sonic oscillations and in the divine motions,
reverberations, and vibrations-
like hearing the heart-beat of the universe…
and then my heart let out a silent cry of pure happiness, serenity;
and in that infinite moment I closed my eyes,
I said goodbye to Natalia,
but not with a sense or a pang of sadness-
with a knowledge and a feeling
that I would see Natalia again and again,
and because of that I walked away and I rejoiced-
because of her music, because of what her saw playing
and all the music that she is gifted to be able to endow
and present to the entire world…
music that is so beautiful and special;
hearing Natalia Paruz, my friend, “The Saw Lady”,
is the most incredible experience ever,
and when you hear her, like I do,
you will never forget her amazing face,
her beautiful smile, her miraculous music,
her fantastic heart, and her sawing voice.
That look into each others eyes,
that ring on your fingers,
that look that keeps you hypnotized,
that symbol of unity that reminds you every day
that out of all the people taking part
in the contest of love and life
you two won the prize to be with each other forever.
Being with each other just feels so natural,
being with each other just feels meant to be,
being with each other every day
feels like you have discovered life’s pinnacle,
being with each other every day
is something no one else could possibly understand,
because you see things in one-another, about one-another,
that no one else could possibly see.
When you know someone as well as you two do
you would think that there is nothing else for you to learn
about each other,
how could anything possibly be new?
However, every day, no matter how long you have been together,
no matter how long you spend together,
you do see and discover an untold secret
that was just waiting for the right time
to show itself and come to light-
that is the most amazing and wonderful thing
about being in a relationship, being in love,
committing yourself to the well-being of each other,
and wanting to spend all and every hour of the day
sharing anything and everything
from the early hours of the morning
to the twilight hours of the night.
A life together is never easy,
but its meaning and its effect on you
and on your life can never be replicated;
a life apart is torture in comparison-
especially when you know for certain and without doubt
that you were both the reason that through everything
you have been through separately and together,
what happened needed to happen, and that is why life waited
to gift you your soul-mate, your life-partner,
the one who needs you in their life
as much as you need to be in theirs,
who scrambles all other frequencies
but the one you need to hear-
more so than a solar flare.
Being together means something greater;
being together means that no matter what happens
you two can be a light-house for each other through any weather;
being together, being one, is more than a name,
it is more than a signature on a dotted-line;
being together is something special,
and what that means is something
that you don’t have to think about
because it is there with you both,
and it is something that no matter how hard you try
you can’t put on a piece of paper.